I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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