ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
