Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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