Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
