Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
