i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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