pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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