Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
