fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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