Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
