you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
