i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
