i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
