no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This toilet bowl is my home.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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