she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
