doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
