He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
