He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
