some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
