i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
