Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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