Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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