i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is Oprah even human
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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