they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The Olympian is in my bed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
