He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
