the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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