she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
