I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
