thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
