I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My feet surprised me
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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