shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
