YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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