No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
