ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
