Apparently you make a good broom.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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