i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
