why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
