she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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