I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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