Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
