im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
