I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
