you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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