We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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