just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
