We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
