she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How naked do you want me to be?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
