nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
