no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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