there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
