He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
