I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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