I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
