Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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