I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
