Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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