I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
