i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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