The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
