he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
