girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
