i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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