He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
