we have pet lesbian snakes
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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