More tranny stories later!
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
