i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
