Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize