So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
