sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
